Domestic Discipline?

My wife is a quiet person. I admire numerous qualities in her; not the least the way she cares for our children.
I find her sexy, attractive and desirable. She sees herself as overweight, plain and definitely not desirable. We don't have a classic 'Domestic Discipline' relationship where the Head of the House (Yours truly) is the 'Lord and Master' and he is unequivocally obeyed.
Good grief! How can people survive a relationship like that?
On the other hand I can understand why some people (either sex) can rely on such relationships and if it suits both parties then more power to them. However I believe that , for most of us, this type of relationship is just not what we require.
On occassion I will find a note from my wife asking for an 'appointment'. Her need is usually borne out of a need she has to 'stay on target' with regard to a weight loss diet but sometimes her request relates to alleviating a guilty feeling she has.
Of course I oblige willingly but her spankings are never initiated by me.
As I said she is quiet and calm and we rarely have a cross word nor do we ever make 'family decisions' without consulting the other. She isn't perfect but who is?
Her way of attempting to reach her goals is to be spanked. She asks for an 'appointment' five or six times a year.
We have to ensure that we have the house to ourselves and she prefers to be spanked just prior to going to sleep.We don't make a ritual out of the event(s) however it tends to take a similar format every time.
We have dinner and will watch Television or a DVD afterward until it's our regular bedtime.She goes up to our room first and I follow shortly after. She is always dressed only in a dressing gown when I enter the room and then she walks to me, tells me why she she needs some 'therapy', removes her gown and bends over the edge of the bed. Usually she is content to be spanked with a hairbrush but sometimes she requests that I use a wooden ruler.
The first time we discussed this (I initiated a general spanking conversation) she made it clear that when (if) the time came that she felt she needed a spanking that it would have to be done as she wanted it which meant it had to be done thoroughly yet lovingly. I was surprised with her statements but pleased that she saw spanking as a means to an end.
It seems to satisfy her need (and mine too I guess) and it seems to help her focus on any immediate problem.